Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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