Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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