This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
