I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think pants incapable of making pants work
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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