Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
