Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
