Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
