I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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