Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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