yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
