so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize