Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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