there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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