he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
