I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
