i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
