i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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