But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
