I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
