You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
