You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
