we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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