Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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