Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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