I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
