I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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