This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
