Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
