Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
