That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
we're so committed to being not committed
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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