Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
