No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
