Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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