my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
