I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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