More tranny stories later!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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