Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
