I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
