Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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