Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm at about main and main street
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
