Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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