You work out of a Hotel?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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