GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
