what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
