i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
