hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
