hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
