david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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