We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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