Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
