i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
