New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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